Friday, August 20, 2010

What I can remember from the 90's



Not every endeavor is a successful one and today I would like to share with you one of my birds that never took flight, perhaps because it was ahead of its time, illegal, dangerous or downright offensive.

My Eureka event or as I like to call it "Peanut Butter & Jelly", was born out of my friends and I sitting around in college doing bong hits. The smoke from which I have never really enjoyed do to the harshness, but if my memory serves me and it tends not to for about a five year period there I did enjoy the after effect.

That day I realized that I would take two things dear to me and create a pathway to heaven.

Bong + Nitrous = Cool super smooth bong hit that makes you into a visionary. Or so I thought.

Well, I went down to my laboratory and fashioned something the kids call a Cracker (for opening small nitrouscanisters or whippets) to the side of a plexi-glass bong with a little rubber cement, and we were in business.

Here came the challenge, with even my most burnt out of cohorts shuddering at the thought of mixing these two drugs together. As if GOD himself might smite them for figuring out the hidden secret to the universe.

Then Holly came to mind.

Holly had been a friend of mine and even a roommate for sometime. A tiny little goof ball of a druggy chick that would pretty much do whatever I asked, except sleep with me. Which by most accounts would be more dangerous than trying out one of my inventions? So with a little reassuring of its safety, she was in.

We set the mood with some Rev. Horton Heat, gathered around our favorite front porch coffee table and proceeded to find God. We even made plans to travel the world teaching others about our new religion.

Then we packed the bowl, lit the lighter, and cracked the nitrous.

Holly grinned from ear to ear as though she had seen the face of our creator, and inner peace washed over her, as she hit her face on the coffee table drooling.

Can somebody help me find a shovel?

love,

-ideajones

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I remember 90's music

It's hard to believe that we're already considering the 90's to be throwback material. Seems like just yesterday that Terminator 2 was on the big screen, and American Pie taught an entire generation of impressionable teens and tweens the ins and outs of (then) modern high school life. Looking back at the 90's music scene, you'd find that while some has dated as much as the premise of The Power Rangers and the lingo used in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, there are a plethora of bands who are just as culturally relevant today as they'd been 10-20 years ago. Here's a list of eleven songs that have either aged like fine wine or like grocery-bought cheese—but will put you in the mindset to get ready to rock the 90's nonetheless.

1. Black Hole Sun / Soundgarden, and
2. She / Green Day. Though they've aged, both still relevant. So much so that, in fact, both Green Day and Soundgarden merited headlining slots at Lollapalooza in Chicago. Couldn't say the same about Devo, who got stuck with a mid-afternoon slot at the festival.
3. Cut Your Hair / Pavement. On the other hand, Pavement stays timeless. Likewise, the reunited band headlined a festival this summer—only in this case, the gig was far less ironic.
4. What's My Age Again? / Blink 182. While the song may strike daggers to many a currently-mid-20-year-old's hearts, the music video is still terrific.
5. Dreams / The Cranberries. So out of fashion that it's now back in. Check out this terrific cover of Dreams performed by Passion Pit.
6. Santaria / Sublime. Dead. Zombies, even. In fact, they've been touring all summer long while lead singer/guitarist/songwriter Brad Nowell has been 14 years in the grave. The current Sublime might not even be the best Sublime cover band in the country.
7. U Can't Touch This / MC Hammer, and
8. Ice, Ice Baby / Vanilla Ice. People used to dress like this, look like this, dance like this. Yep. A two-way tie for 90's songs that have aged most poorly.
9. No Diggity / Blackstreet. On the other hand? Blackstreet is still touring across the Globe. We weren't even aware that they had more than one song. Concerts must be super-short, but oh-so-sweet.
10. Flagpole Sitta / Harvey Danger. Timeless classic, loved forever.
11. Gettin' Jiggy With It / Will Smith. Did you prefer the flat top on Fresh Prince of Bel Air, the rhymes on Big Willie Style, or the roles defending Earth from aliens on the big screen? No matter how you slice it, Will Smith defined the 90's.

For everything else: Just pick up the Space Jam soundtrack and Jock Jams discography, turn on repeat, and get psyched to revisit the 90's in person at the fashion show next Saturday.

Sunday, August 8, 2010